


Built Between My Ribs

by thiswesternfeeling



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout: New Vegas
Genre: Canon-Typical Racism, F/M, Graphic Depictions of Mormonism, Interracial Relationship, Josh's dick fell off, Men Get Pegged, yes they still have sex despite that
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:00:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23641996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thiswesternfeeling/pseuds/thiswesternfeeling
Summary: Noore meets the legend of the Malpais Legate face-to-face, on the eve of war in both Zion Valley and New Vegas
Relationships: Courier/Joshua Graham, Female Courier/Joshua Graham
Comments: 9
Kudos: 37





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Noore is a stealth/assassin build with neutral karma who sides with Mr House. Tag skills are Sneak, Unarmed and Speech.

A final gunshot rang into the valley as the body of a raider fell into the deep stone chasms below. In only minutes, she was the sole survivor of the Happy Trails caravan company. 

It was early afternoon, the Zion sun blazing into the valley below, the stone ground hot to the touch. The valley was quiet, but Noore's mind was screaming about what she had just done. She was lost, weeks away from both New Vegas and New Canaan, without a map, unable to leave the way she came. Adrenaline pouring through her veins with every beat of her heart, a makeshift tourniquet made of a pre-war bandana tied around her leg wet and warm with blood, Noore scanned the horizon for any sign of life, her bladed power fist held high as a warning to anyone who dare approach her.

"Hoi!" a soft but commanding male voice echoed from a ledge just above her. "White Legs don't leave survivors often."

Noore turned so fast she made herself dizzy. Lowering her gun, she appraised the young tribal man, deciding he was not a threat as her heart drummed in her chest.

He was unphased by her hostility, his voice even and steady. "You're some kind of lucky, you know that?" When Noore didn't respond, he took it upon himself to continue. "You're not from around here, are you?" When Noore shook her head, he continued. "You came from the outside. Joshua will want to hear about this."

It was a long moment before Noore could find her voice enough to speak two short syllables. "Joshua?" 

The man crossed his arms. "Joshua Graham. He leads my tribe, the Dead Horses. Thanks to him, our tribe is safe and strong."

She heard the rumors and the legends of the Malpais Legate. How some believed he was still alive, despite Caesar having him burned alive and thrown into the Grand Canyon. She would frequently wonder if the legends were real, only if the Malpais Legate lived. She was warned not to speak of a man named Joshua Graham when she first set out on the expedition to Utah.

She lowered her fist, wiping sweat from her brow. "Tell me about him."

"He has been the chief of our tribe ever since he returned from the civilized lands. He fought in a war, and it did not end well."

"A war?" Noore was beginning to put the pieces together in her mind.

"It changed him, the war did." The tribal man took a quick, shallow breath. "You see his face, you understand."

That was all the confirmation she needed. She agreed to follow the man, the man who said his name was Follows-Chalk, into their camp on the Eastern Virgin river. She knew it was foolish to trust a stranger, but she had little choice in who to trust now that she was stranded in a strange land with aggressive locals and no way out. 

The two made conversation as they embarked on the trek from the Southern Passage into the camp. She told him about the war of Hoover Dam, and how a second one was impending and due to come to a head at any moment. Follows-Chalk laughed at the idea of civilized peoples fighting a war over a dam, but Noore was caught in how to respond. She eventually said both the things on her mind. "The Hoover dam is far from insignificant" and "You'd be surprised what supposedly civilized people will fight over".

Follows-Chalk let out a light chuckle. "Now you sound like Joshua."

The two spent the entire journey exchanged stories, of themselves, of their past, and of their people. Noore told about her battles with deathclaws and how she defied death after being shot in the head. Follows-Chalk told her about the Sorrows tribe, their Father in the Caves, and to Noore's amusement, about Joshua's defeat in battle by a tribe he called Enseeyar. Noore had to hold back a smile upon realizing what he was talking about, of which Follows-Chalk questioned and Noore tried to pass off as a cough.

* * *

Across the southern border, into the river, and across a few bear traps, Noore and Follows-Chalk made it to the Dead Horses' camp just as the sun dipped below the sky and the night lit up like a backlit canopy, holes punched into the fabric.

Light footsteps made barely any sound in Angel Cave, the only sound giving away her presence being the squeak of her wet boots against stone. Above her on a ledge up the ramp of the cave, a bandaged face with piercing eyes whipped into her direction, hands not once moving from their work of repairing and reloading pistols. She was uncomfortable with being so noticeable. 

"Noore, is it? I would have wanted to give you a better welcome into Zion, but it appears the White Legs beat us to it," a heavy, gravelly voice boomed from the direction of the burned, but breathing body of the Malpais Legate, Joshua Graham.

She spilled as much of the story in as few words as she could. Her caravan, the White Legs attack, and drifted carefully across the delicate topic of the impending second battle of Hoover Dam.

"I don't know if you were close to the other members of your group, but know you have my sympathy. I pray for the safety of all who come to Zion, but we cannot expect God to do all of the work."

As he spoke, Noore's mind wandered. He didn't seem anything like the type of man she pictured the Malpais Legate to be like. He had a reassuring presence, and just as Follows-Chalk spoke of, he was more interested in protecting than in destroying. But she had no doubt in her mind that this Joshua Graham was the same man Caesar forbade speaking of. She asked about the New Canaanites, about their beliefs, and he explained to her that every soul had been redeemed. His. Hers. The Sorrows. Even the White Legs. Everyone is given a path, and fall as they may, they can always follow it.

"Do you ever fall?" Noore said after a long silence, choosing her words as carefully as one chose the steps they took around a land mine.

"Yes." he said, "Every day. Some are harder than others, but yes." He and Noore were both content to leave it at that. Noore wisely changed the subject, as neither of them wanted the palpable tension to return.

"How did you know so much about my caravan before I arrived?"

"The Dead Horses are capable scouts. Nothing comes into or out of the valley without my knowing of it. The Happy Trails, they were good folks, but New Canaan was destroyed, thanks to Caesar." 

His pronunciation of Caesar, a soft C, like _seizure_ , took Noore by surprise. Even more so than how he pronounced her name, like _newer_ when most in the Mojave pronounced it like _noir_. "The Legion destroyed them?"

"Not quite," he said, reloading a pistol idly, as if he could do it in his sleep. "The White Legs want to join the Legion. Their rite of passage into the legion would be to destroy New Canaan and the Dead Horses, and it does not take much thought to know why."

Noore immediately understood. "But you know, I know, what would happen to them under the legion. What would become of them, you know best of all," The words she left unsaid spoke louder than those she did. "Why don't we explain to them--?"

"Stop." Joshua abruptly cut her off, standing up from the table and taking a step towards Noore. "I will hear no more of this. The White Legs cannot and will not listen to reason, and I will not assist to a sympathizer of the people who are trying to kill mine."

She simply blinked, taken aback by his sudden harshness to what was a perfectly rational question. Certainly it wasn't so simple, all humans could reason, she thought. But then again, he knew far more about this tribe than she. His blue eyes, the only exposed part of his face, stared into her, the mottled flesh surrounding his eyes stretching with each glance.

"Now, with that out of the way," he said, sitting back at his table and reloading a pistol, "It's good you came along. I need your help, and you need mine. Daniel, another New Canaanite, is a doctor and a faithful cartographer, and should be able to give you a map for you to find your way out. Unfortunately, he has his hands full at the moment and cannot spare any time to help you. But time is what you have an abundance of now that you're here for the foreseeable future, so perhaps if you assist him he will be much faster in assisting you. I'm sure he would be willing, but you've caught us at an inconvenient time."

It didn't take much thought for Noore to make her decision. She stepped forward towards him, setting her hands on his table. "I'm not going to leave without offering to help, even if I could. What can I do?" she said in a calm, quiet tone, as if she had been given time to think about her decision and knew what she was getting herself into.

He craned his head to her and put his hand upon her shoulder. "You are a kind soul, Noore, with an honest heart built between your ribs. We all have periods of darkness, and though in times like these we can turn to the Lord, it's good to have friends. I will make good on my promise to help you, God willing, you will leave this valley without a scar or a scratch." With his words he slid his bandaged hand down her shoulder and onto her upper arm. She froze, with her hands by her side, afraid to touch him. Sensing her discomfort, he immediately withdrew his hand from her. "I mean you no harm, Noore. My deepest apologies if my touch brought you fear or discomfort." A man like the Malpais Legate? Saying something like that? Maybe he had changed as much as Follows Chalk said. Maybe more.

She looked at the ground, before turning her eyes back to him. "No, it's not that, it's..." Noore reached in front of her, very carefully placing her fingers upon his bandaged hand. "Does it... hurt?" A moment passed. "Are you in pain, is there something I can do to help?"

He paused and looked away for a moment, eventually meeting her eyes as he spoke. "Yes. It never stops burning. Even the places where the burns are the worst, with the nerves destroyed and flesh blackened to the bone, I still feel it burn. Even the parts I had lost-- my ears, a few toes-- I can feel them burn as if they were still there. But it's not the burning that's as bad as the itching. And even that, is pathetically little in comparison to the tearing. Burned skin is mostly scar tissue, you know, and scar tissue has little flexibility, so every small movement I make, it feels like my skin is splitting. Every day, exposing my wounds to the air, it feels like I am reliving that horrific day again. I relive it in my sleep. You are kind to offer but no, you cannot help me. There is not a moment where I am relieved of pain, as I am immune to the effects of chems. And even if I wasn't, I doubt I would use them."

Noore did not respond for a few seconds, gathering her words carefully again. "I cannot and will not say I have experienced anything like what you have. I cannot empathize, but know that you have my respect."

His eyes widened, and he placed his hands back on her shoulders. "You are very good with words, Noore. You will be a great asset to Daniel, as he is trying to solve the Sorrows' problems without violence. As you know, my skills lie elsewhere, and I am preparing the Sorrows for war. It's not an easy choice, and it's not a choice I'm even sure about, myself. As you know, I've been wrong about leading into war once. I would treasure the chance to be wrong once again. Either way this pans out, I am grateful to have you as a friend to the New Canaanites."

Noore's face softened. "My skills lie in violence as well, I'm afraid."

"We may have just met, but for what it's worth, I don't believe so. You are an empath, you care deeply." Noore was almost unable to hold back the laugh that came up. 

"I'm not a good person, Joshua. I'm just lucky most people aren't aware otherwise."

She couldn't see his mouth, but the way his eyes crinkled gave away his smile. "I don't believe that for a minute. A sinner, yes, of course you are. But if you weren't a good person, you wouldn't have been so eager to aid the Sorrows. You would have asked more questions, like 'What's in it for me?' or 'Why don't I just head to the Narrows and shake down Daniel for those maps right now?' or 'What if I want to help the White Legs?' You've chosen the much more difficult path of doing what is right. That's the mark of a good person, choosing what is right over what is easy, or what is popular."

Noore didn't respond, not verbally at least. It would be of great use to her if Joshua thought of her as good and righteous, so she would not argue. The longer he thought fondly of her, the easier this all would be. He would learn in time, most assuredly, but for now she could indulge him in the idea that she was a hero. "Thank you, Joshua," she paused for a second, "May I call you that?"

"What, my first name? Of course. What could make you think otherwise?" but as he spoke, realized the answer to his own question. The Legion. They forbade her, everyone, from speaking his name. A knowing look said it all, so Joshua quickly changed the subject.

"Now, I have important tasks for you."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the one where Noore and Follows-Chalk bond, Daniel has good intent, and Joshua makes an entrance.

Noore's power fist crushed the neck on the howling Yao Guai, and a gecko's claws finished off the last remaining hit points on its torso, as Follows Chalk watched with his jaw metaphorically on the floor.

"Holy mother of the sacred son..." he muttered, more impressed than stunned. "Civilized folk can bring animals to battle too?"

Noore smiled as she skinned the bear, wiping blood off of her power fist, while the gecko sauntered away. "Well, no. Not many of us. Where I'm from, doctors treat more gecko bites than anything else."

Follows-Chalk gave a bright laugh. "Civilized folks laid to rest from a gecko bite. Between the stories I hear, and what you and Joshua say, I don't know what to think about the folks outside Zion." 

"What kind of stories do you hear?" Noore asked. 

"Oh, all kinds. I heard about warriors living in holes in the ground, with armor made of metal and guns that shot lasers. And ghost people trapped in a casino. I even heard that there was a man who made an army of mutants by dipping them in a pool of acid! I don't quite believe that last one, though. Seems a bit too crazy to be real."

"Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction can ever hope to be."

"There you go again," Follows-Chalk said, grinning, "You sound just like Joshua. Now, let's get these supplies back to the Sorrows camp. If we leave now, we'll make it there by sundown." The day was ending fast, waning bits of daylight tinting the sky orange and pink as a waxing crescent moon peeked out from behind a cloud.

The pair carefully shimmied down a gorge and into the soft sandy banks of the Eastern Virgin. Noore's boots stuck in the sand momentarily each time she took a step, making walking much more tedious than before. Follows-Chalk, however, seemed to be unaffected as the sand slid right off his gecko-skin boots, a lifetime of living in the canyon leading to knowing the environment intimately. For a moment, Noore envied his lifestyle. The simplicity of living did have its appeal, especially after more than thirty years in Vegas and all of the advanced technology she could ever want. Such came with the territory of being House's personal assassin and favorite grandchild. After decades in the Mojave, she understood the appeal of tribal life to someone like Joshua, even if he didn't have much of a choice in the matter. It was understandable why Joshua would tell Follows-Chalk not to bother with the civilized world, even excluding Joshua's own unsavory experiences with it.

The water got higher, almost up to her knees, as the sun dipped below the horizon and crickets chirped while a welcome fog kissed the dry air.

"Down there in the Narrows," Follows-Chalk's voice cut through the air, "That's the Sorrows territory. They're peaceful enough, but you don't want to make them mad." Water splashed at his legs as he ventured up ahead into the steep canyons. After the clank of a few bear traps being disarmed, the duo reached the Sorrows campgrounds.

* * *

"Daniel?"

"Oh, hello, you must be Noore." He held his hand out to shake, smiling politely as she took it. "The Dead Horses told me about the attack on your caravan. A stranger's sympathy may not mean much, but for what it's worth, I'm sorry."

"Thank you," she responded, "I appreciate it greatly. Joshua said you could show me my way out of here, that you're a cartographer."

"Yes, but unfortunately you've caught me at a bad time. I'm sure Joshua and I can help you out of here, but to be frank, we need your help too. I assume Joshua has told you about it?"

"He did, a bit," she said, reaching into her bag, "He said you needed some old world supplies, something about needing an outsider to get them because the tribals are superstitious about old world buildings." She pulled out the items and handed them to Daniel, whose eyes widened and chest heaved at the sight, heavy with relief.

"Thank you, thank you so much, you have no idea how useful these will be."

"About that," Noore said, "What's your plan? What are you going to do to save the tribals, and what do you need me to do?"

Daniel smiled. "You're very straightforward, I like that about you." His smile quickly faded. "We need to get the Sorrows out of harm's way. We need to get them out of Zion and to a place the White Legs can't follow. I admire them for finding their way here, although I'm sure there were many casualties in the process. But I know they can't follow us east, into the Grand Staircase. It's not just the hostile terrain, they don't know how to live off the land. All they know is raiding and pillaging. They cannot hunt, or forage, or farm, or barter with other tribes. Everything they have, they got from raiding, stealing. Even their submachine guns, they broke into a pre-war armory some time ago and they've been using them ever since. Storm drums, they call them. They want to assimilate into the Legion, and their prerequisite task is the destruction of the Sorrows and New Canaanites. They've already destroyed New Canaan, I can't let them take the Sorrows too. They're peaceful people. They have kind souls, innocent even, if there is such a thing. They mourn the deaths of White Leg warriors, as much as they do the loss of their own. They mourn your caravan, too. They're not a warlike people. They need safety. They need to be gotten out of the mess I've gotten them into."

"You and Joshua don't strike me as pacifists," Noore said, "What makes you so eager to evacuate Zion, rather than fight?"

"You're right, Noore, we aren't. I'll strike dead any White Leg that wanders into this camp, but only out of protection to the Sorrows. There is a difference, however, between killing in defense and waging war. Joshua wants to fight because the White Legs stoked the naked flame inside him. As he burns, he destroys what is around him. You have seen the light of his fire but have not yet felt the heat. I pray that you never will, but it isn't up to me, and it isn't up to God. It's up to Joshua."

"Flames," she pondered, "You speak metaphorically but draw connections to the literal. I have a feeling you aren't talking about his flesh. What do you mean by the flame inside him?"

"Violence." Daniel said. "Every inch of his body is covered in testament to both God's unending forgiveness and humanity's unfathomable cruelty. The fire that burns inside him has left very physical burns, you are correct in the connection. Joshua may know the farthest depths of what a thirst for blood leads to, but he still has that wrath, that crackling flame, held deeply inside him. Something, or someone, just needed to come along to fan the flicker."

"I think I understand now," she said. "And I will need time to think on this."

"Of course," he said. "I'm not so sure of my plan myself."

"I'm going to rest, to sleep on it. I've had a long day," she said, the creases in her under-eyes dark and angry.

"Alright. But in the morning, I want to introduce you to someone. She's a talented scout, and has agreed to help you. Her name is Waking Cloud, perhaps you'll see her in the camp."

Noore only responded with a smile, before turning away and making her way down the Narrows and onto solid land. Just as she approached the tents of the camp, a familiar figure waded through the water at the entrance of the Narrows. Pale, dressed in a bulletproof vest, and a gleaming weapon at its hip. As the figure approached, she realized the figure wasn't pale, but bandaged. The gleaming weapon was the beautiful .45 pistol she had seen in Angel cave before.

"By the rivers of Babylon, there we sat down, yea, we wept, when we remembered Zion." The sound of the voice was unmistakable.

Joshua.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noore and Waking Cloud have some bonding time, and Noore accidentally crosses the line with Joshua.

Noore awoke the next morning to find Follows-Chalk gone.

"He left you this," Daniel said. "He would have said goodbye but he didn't want to wake you. He says you're welcome at the dead horses camp anytime."

"Thank you," she said, putting the note in her satchel.

"Oh, there's someone I need you to meet. I assigned you a Sorrows scout to accompany you. You'll meet her soon enough."

Daniel explained the tasks at hand and Noore nodded her head, agreeing. War camps, booby-trapped bridges, and a cave full of yao guai. She had the misfortune of fighting off a few small ones with Follows-Chalk, she didn't want to imagine fighting an entire cave full of the creatures. But Daniel gave her a suggested alternative, placing explosives in key points in the cave and detonating at a safe distance. She wasn't skilled with explosives, but Daniel reassured her that if she can press a button she can work the detonator. And lastly but most importantly, a map of the Grand Staircase, a place the Sorrows could evacuate where the White Legs couldn't reach. 

* * *

Noore had dipped her feet in the cool shallow water when she heard a woman's voice from behind her.

"Daniel says I am to travel with you until you have finished your scouting. Is this pleasing to you?" the woman asked, a hand on her hip and a smile on her face. Her cheeriness was a welcomed change to Joshua and Daniel's moroseness. Her head was shaved, she had many tattoos, and on her hand she wore the paw of a massive bear.

"Sounds good, let's go."

"Certainly, we should make haste, then."

And so the two set off to find the bridge where the White Legs were placing traps. On their journey, Noore learned that Waking Cloud was a midwife. She had a husband and three children, all safely evacuated already. She earned the bear paw on her arm from hunting a yao guai that harmed the tribe, and urged Noore to earn her own by speaking with a shaman.

"All in due time," Noore said, "Right now I'd rather focus on protecting the valley."

"Of course," Waking Cloud said. "I know you are eager to leave Zion, but perhaps you may find peace if you stayed. Think about it, yes?"

Noore's expression warmed. "Not eager to leave, so much as eager to get this problem dealt with. We can't risk any more lives, and Joshua says a diplomatic approach cannot be done."

"I'm afraid not," Waking Cloud replied, coolly, "White Legs only know of raiding, they cannot live off the land."

"But is there no way we can teach them? Teach them that the legion is their enemy and they can have a future outside of raiding?"

"I asked Daniel the same thing. He told me they can't be taught, can't be redeemed. That doesn't sound like the Father's teachings at all." Waking Cloud crouched behind a rock formation before turning to face Noore. "It might sound foolish, but I pray for the White Legs. Even though they are killing our tribe and stealing our home, I pray for them."

"Not foolish at all," Noore said, breath condensing in the morning chill. "I don't believe an entire tribe is wholly irredeemable."

"Yes, yes, I agree," Waking Cloud said. "Salt-Upon-Wounds, perhaps, but what of the rest of his tribe? They are innocent souls corrupted into doing bad things. They can be redeemed."

Noore groaned. "Exactly what I tried telling Joshua, but he shut me down."

Waking Cloud took Noore's hand in her own. "It is nice to speak my opinions freely with another. It is nice to know I'm not alone in such thoughts. Most of the New Canaans, and many from the Sorrows, ignore what I have to say. But not you. Not my husband. And up until recently, not Daniel. And it is nice to have a speaking partner as smart as you. I have a lot to learn."

Noore shook her head. "What of? You're intelligent as well, I have much to learn from you too."

Waking Cloud looked surprised. "Well, thank you for the kind words, but--"

"No, I speak the truth. Not everyone can be a midwife. You have skills that few possess. I certainly don't have the skills to be a medic of any kind, let alone one that operates entirely from homemade supplies. You have talent and experience, don't sell yourself short."

She smiled, with tears forming in her eyes, before laughing. "Sell myself short? What does that mean?"

Noore mirrored her laugh. "Oh, I'm sorry. I mean, don't devalue what you do. Medics in the civilized lands barely scrape by with modern technology, but here you are, tending to your tribe's ails using only the world around you."

Waking Cloud paused, gazing across her shoulder before returning to Noore. "Thank you, friend. It means a lot to hear that from you. But we are approaching the bridge, the only sure path from the Narrows to Pine Creek."

"The traps," Noore said, "I'll disarm them, you stand guard here and keep watch for any White Legs still around. I don't want you getting hurt while I disarm the traps."

"Understood," Waking Cloud said, and turned to watch as Noore disarmed a bear trap, and then another, with ease. Those she couldn't disarm with her hands, she shot a bullet at, and the trap was deactivated all the same. Scouring each corner of the bridge for any more traps, Noore returned to Waking Cloud without a scratch nor scrape.

* * *

When afternoon turned to evening, the pair made their way back to the Sorrows camp, just as rain began to fall on the valley.

At a campfire near the entrance was both Daniel and Joshua. First, Noore approached Daniel and told him the bridge was secure, and that they had scouted White Leg war camps that they would recon the next day. Pleased with their work, Daniel retired to his bedroll deeper into the Narrows. Waking Cloud returned to the cave she had with her family for the evening. Noore and Joshua were all who remained.

"Welcome back," Joshua said, "What can I do for you?"

"Could you repair some of my gear?"

"Yes, let me have a look."

As Joshua patched a Yao Guai scratch in her armor and oiled her power fist, Noore's thoughts wandered on how she would breach the subject on her mind.

"Thank you, Joshua," she said as he handed back her items and she gave him a handful of caps. "Can I ask you a few personal questions?"

Joshua crossed his arms and sighed. "It's not something I enjoy, but I pray that someone else may learn from my mistakes. What did you want to know?"

"You mentioned that you were expecting a courier?"

"Oh, yes," he said, his shoulders slouching inward as he looked to the ground. He quickly glanced back up. "Caesar will never admit this, but he knows I'm alive. He sends scouts here looking for me often enough. One of those scouts got work as a courier, and I believed his next stop would be to me."

"Does he send assassins often?"

"I'm not sure how often, but once every few months the Dead Horses will tell me about a party of men dressed in red nearing the southern passage. Almost none make it down the descent, and the ones that do are killed by either Dead Horses or yao guai long before they reach the camp. I do wonder just how many are sent but don't make it this far. Most Legionaries meet a fitting end in NCR territory, so I imagine many more assassins are sent out than come far enough to reach the view of the scouts."

"Do they--"

Before she could speak, Joshua sat down on the bedroll, head in his hands. "Noore, I mean no disrespect, but this is not a topic I would like to discuss. Nor is it any matter of yours."

"I-I'm sorry,"

"Please," he said, "Leave me alone."

* * *

It was past midnight when Noore last checked the time on her Pip-Boy. She sat on a sandbar above the water, leaning against a rock. The stars were shining brighter than she had ever seen them in Vegas. For a moment, she understood the pre-war activity of finding shapes and creatures drawn in the stars.

She opened a pack of cigarettes and slipped one between her teeth. She flipped open Benny's lighter, struck it with her thumb, but nothing lit. She hit it on the side of her hand a few times before striking it again, still only getting brief sparks blown away by the wind.

"Fuck." she groaned, her thumb cramping as she tried to get a light. She didn't notice anyone approach her until a shadow came over her. She looked up to see two bandaged hands forming a circlet around her lighter. "Here."

Just her luck, she finally got a light. She lit her cigarette and took a long drag before realizing she had yet to even acknowledge Joshua.

"Thank you." she said, exhaling. "I-If you want I can do this further from camp? Or not at all if you'd prefer. I don't do this often."

"I do abhor smoking," Joshua said, "but we all have our vices. I just ask that you don't do it in the Sorrows or Dead Horses camps.

"I'm sorry for being too forward earlier." Noore said. "I didn't mean to overstep."

Joshua sat down beside her, shoulder to shoulder, she could feel the warmth of his body radiating onto hers. He grabbed her hand. Noore expected his grip to be rough and bone-crushingly tight, but was pleasantly surprised by how _kind_ his touch felt. "I know you didn't mean to. Which is why I brought it up that it wasn't something I wanted to discuss. If you wouldn't mind my company, I'd like to stay here with you, talk things over. Strategy, or more questions if you'd like. All I ask is that this cigarette be the last one you smoke in my presence."

"Yes, that sounds great, thank you," Noore said as she snuffed out the tip of the cigarette into the rock and put the spent butt in a zipper in her backpack. "To be honest, you intrigue me."

Joshua laughed. "Naturally."

"And I came here to find you." A long pause. "I heard legends of the Burned Man all across the wasteland. When I heard a caravan was passing through, I thought I could get confirmation for sure whether you really were still alive. Guess I got all that and more." A breeze swept through the cavern, and Noore shivered. 

"May I?" Joshua asked. It took a second for Noore to notice his outstretched arm ready to wrap around her.

"Yes, you may. Please."

With his arms around her, and her head resting in the crook of his shoulder, the two talked.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for non-graphic description of someone burning to death offscreen

Joshua awoke to the feeling of another's warmth next to him.

Sunlight had just peeked over the horizon, illuminating Noore's tawny brown skin. A few strands of her messy, wavy blue-black hair fluttered over her face in the wind. He couldn't bring himself to wake her, so he lay still next to her, trying to suppress the rise and fall of his chest when he drew breath, lest he wake her by accident. 

Focusing on the sleeping woman next to him helped get that nightmare out of his senses, anyway. _Bishop Mordecai, screaming in pain as an all too familiar scent filled Joshua's lungs. Seeing Daniel break when he realized there was no rescuing him. Hearing his screams continue far beyond the length of time it would take to die of smoke inhalation injury breaking him even further. With tears in his eyes, he turned to Joshua and screamed, "This is all your fault!"_

Even though the real Daniel had made it very clear he didn't blame Joshua for the White Legs' attack on New Canaan, that didn't stop Joshua's subconscious from taking whatever direction it pleased. And it didn't stop Joshua from blaming himself. A hand curled around Joshua's arm, and he was brought back into the present.

"Hey," she said, smiling, her eyes glimmering like topaz. "We need to get back to camp." She wasted no time in getting up and packing her things, with no intent in savoring the moment of intimacy.

"Not a moment to waste," he said. "Did you find the map Daniel was seeking?"

"Not yet," she responded. "I'm going to scout the area today. Waking Cloud didn't want to enter the cave I needed to search. Said the Father in the Caves forbids them from entering."

Joshua scoffed. "Tribal superstition."

Noore glared. "You may want to talk to the Sorrows. If you listened to them as much as you preached to them, you'd realize that's what they call your God." Joshua's eyes widened. "The holy mother? The sacred child? Mary and Jesus. I had to explain this to Daniel earlier."

"You-- of course." Joshua said. "You're very observant." He was quiet for several long moments before he was torn out of his thoughts by the growl of a yao guai. 

The sheer force of the bear’s paw to his chest knocked him to the ground, pain shooting up his spine from his hips. He reached for his pistol, trying his best to aim with unsteady hands. The force of pistons cracking the animal’s jaw caused it to recoil, and Joshua got a quick glance of Noore with her power fist, running after the creature to finish what it began. 

He lifted himself onto his side and sent four bullets into the animal’s skull, the head bursting while blood and tissue leaked from the neck. 

Before he could catch his breath, Noore was standing at his side, offering her hand. He wanted to refuse, as an attestment to his endurance. He refused to look old, look weak, look crippled. Noore raised her eyebrows, and Joshua attempted to stand on his own, only to nearly fall back down. Eventually, he had to do it, so he did it. He let her help him to his feet. 

“Can you feel everything fine?” Noore asked. “Spine injuries are no joke. A severed spinal cord would—“ the words stopped in her mouth before she finished them. 

Joshua dusted himself off and applied a healing poultice to his torso. “Yes, I feel everything, fortunately. A paradox I know too well, that not feeling any pain means you’re much more severely injured than if you were in pain.”

”Let’s check in with Daniel and Waking Cloud before we scout the caves. I have a lot of medical experience but I’m no doctor.”

Joshua steadied himself on his feet before taking a few steps with Noore. “Where did you learn your medical skills?”

”To be honest,” Noore said with a tense laugh, “Mostly from skimming magazines right before diving into surgery. Experience is an unforgiving teacher, but it helps me sleep at night knowing that I’ve saved lives that were doomed otherwise.”

Joshua continued to look at her, listening silently. “I’m no medic. I still get nightmares about having to amputate a leg when i didn’t even know what half the muscles involved in the amputation were. I could never be a real doctor, I’m far too anxious. One wrong slip of the scalpel and their life is over. I can’t handle that kind of pressure.”

”But you can handle the pressure of going to war?”

”That’s different. I know how my guns work, I know my enemies and I know my strategies. Taking a life comes easily to me, saving does not.” She paused. “Especially when the enemies are always people I have intel on, can get the jump on them. I know my job, I know I’m an assassin and I do this well. I put a lot of trust in Mr House, in a way I could never trust someone else. With him making the decisions on who needs killing, and me doing the killing, I can make sense out of it.”

Joshua’s sustained silence was broken with one quaint question. “An assassin with a power fist?”

Noore almost smiled genuinely. “That’s what you got out of that?” She let her genuine smile form as she looked at him. “I’m trained in CQC so I don’t have to rely on a gun or a blade. For long range stuff I have my brush gun I named Medicine Stick. But I left her in the Mojave.”

”Sounds like a technique used by the Praetorian guards.” Joshua said. 

“The legion likes to think they’re unique in that way but ask any merc, any desert ranger, any NCR soldier and they’ll tell you almost an identical story. Know how to take down an enemy with a few kicks and punches so you’re not totally helpless when caught off guard.”

A few moments of awkward pause, before Noore realized what Josh was asking. “No, I didn’t learn it from the Legion. I was trained in mixed martial arts as a kid, and as I got older I got into boxing. When I came to Vegas, Mr House brought some of the best to train me to my top potential. So no, it wasn’t the Legion, if I had a choice in the matter I would never have even visited Caesar’s camp.”

”You... visited fortification hill?”

Noore realized that for every answer she gave, it raised ten more questions, but she didn’t mind. She would answer any questions he had, in exchange for him answering any of hers. 

And her turn will come soon enough. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's some sexual objectification / male gaze from Joshua's pov in this chapter, also non graphic mention of genital mutilation but i tagged this as "josh's dick fell off" so i hope that's to be expected.

"Since Waking Cloud is out for this one and the others are busy, do you think you could accompany me?" Noore asked, breaking eye contact.

Joshua's well of words ran dry at the simple statement. He certainly didn't want to fetch the map, it was a blow to his fragile ego to admit so clearly that there's a chance Daniel was right. He could have told her he needed to continue training the Dead Horses, but that would be a lie, they were in excellent military shape without him. In fact, he had planned to stay at the Sorrows' camp the next few nights, to protect them as needed and to work with Daniel. Rejecting her invitation would mean staying at the Sorrows camp, patching up their armor and weapons, waiting for Noore to return.

His decision was swift. "Of course. I'm at your side."

Noore smiled, her brown eyes sparkling in the morning rays. "Thank you. It's just, I'd rather not be alone when navigating unknown terrain."

"I understand," he said. "Let me take a look at your map. Morning glory cave, correct?"

"Yes, and then the White Leg camps Waking Cloud and I reconned yesterday." she said, pointing to two spots on her Pip-boy. "I want to steal the war totems without disturbing the camp. It'll be more effective than just killing whoever is there, because it'll be like a sign from their gods that they will lose the war."

"Is that so?" Joshua said with a scrutinizing tone, "I doubt anything can be more effective than killing them outright."

"We don't have to kill them, so we won't, simple." Noore retorted.

Joshua stepped closer to her. "These are the people who killed my family. They want to join the Legion. They deserve to die."

Noore arched her back to look into Joshua's eyes. "You said you didn't enjoy killing. Thought of it as a chore. There is no need to kill these people unless they attack us first."

"I beg to differ," Joshua seethed, tears welling up in his eyes.

"Then beg."

A beat passed, silent, and Noore's confidence faded. She shrunk back into herself, her posture meek. "I'm sorry, I... I don't know what came out."

Joshua was speechless, and Noore's attempt at breaking the awkward silence did nothing to temper it. He was used to getting his way. He was used to others deferring to his judgment after explaining himself to them. As Legate, he would threaten violence if others opposed his actions. But then came this woman, a wrecking ball to his brick wall. A wild card with a moral code as strong, and as dubious, as his own.

He would not bow in submission, but he would hear her out. "Alright," he said after a long silence, "We will try this your way. But if any of those savages cause you harm, I will not hesitate to end them." His thoughts began to roll again after saying it out loud. "I understand that you're very skilled in the art of stealth and your qualifications as a personal assassin to one of Vegas's bigwigs shows you're competent in making such a decision. We will try this your way, but if your way fails to net results, I will resolve this with my pistol."

Noore looked into his eyes. He seemed genuine. She extended her hand. "Deal."

He took her hand. "Deal."

* * *

The walk to the cave was quiet, forcing Joshua to replay their earlier conversation. He had been emasculated twice -- once with fire, and once with words. He felt controlled, like a puppet. Like someone who knew their place. _She might as well be fucking me_ , Joshua thought, then quickly suffocated the thought before it took root and gave him visuals. It didn't help that his face flushed at the idea, and was glad Noore couldn't see his face under the bandages. The way Noore spoke demanded respect, as he assumed from her profession. She must be used to having to prove herself, he thought. He watched her arm as she swung her power fist, in awe of the well-refined muscles and how they reacted to her movement. The rest of her body was just as robust, well-built and seeming like she had never missed a meal in her life. He stared at the small of her back as she crouched behind a yucca plant, and he indulged himself in the thought of what she must look like under firelight in bare skin. He quickly stopped that train of thought, steeling himself for the job at hand. Besides, it didn't even matter if the attraction was mutual. He could not properly please her, as a man should. He had very little left of flesh between his legs, and what still remained was unsuitable for such use. Aging didn't help the matter.

She was in her physical prime, at thirty-one years, at her peak fertility too. She deserved a man who could give her children, not the hideously scarred, sexually dysfunct man twenty years her senior who was ogling her while they traveled.

Her voice brought him out of his thoughts. "Here it is, just over that hill there." She approached the mouth of the cave, unaware of the giant radscorpion just a few feet from her. 

The animal closed in on its prey as Joshua drew his gun, firing three shots at the behemoth's stinger, crippling it. With no way of defending itself, the scorpion abandoned the hunt and ran for shelter.

Noore panted, regaining her breath. "I didn't even see that thing. Fuck." She leaned against a tree trunk and sank down into a seated position, her chest rising and falling with her racing heart.

"It's all over now," Joshua said, tentatively reaching an arm around her before she accepted his embrace and caught her breath with her head on his chest.

"See," she said, "This is why I wanted someone to accompany me. Without my eyebot I can't see shit. I need someone to watch my six."

He was silent, but acknowledged her with a stroke of his hand through her hair. It was selfish of him, but he was enjoying this moment and wished it could last forever. He waited for her to signal she was ready to continue, which she did, sooner than he had hoped.

But they had work left to do, and the worst was far from over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> playlist for these two https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLVynGjKYgnQ3zuoRThHIyE4PVrODSbIlQ

**Author's Note:**

> comment game: find all four of the easter egg references to other games i made in this chapter


End file.
